And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize