Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
