Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
