Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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