I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
