pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
