can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
