So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
