Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
