You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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