turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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