Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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