dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
