I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize