I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
