Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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