we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
