:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
