I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
