he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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