Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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