what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
