Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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