Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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