i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
