JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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