Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
