Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
