I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
