My friends, they love my intelligence
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize