My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
