Already got asked if we're dating
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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