im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
