so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
