I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
