Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
