we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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