honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize