3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
