so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
