Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
