it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
