beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
