How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
