and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize