she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
