Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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