Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
