so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
