with your own penis?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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