"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm passing your future prison.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
