Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
