Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
