all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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