i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its not stalking. its research.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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