I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
