Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
