I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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