We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm both gender and math confused
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
