I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
