Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
