Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can I color on your dick again?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
