if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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