Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
